OP Look-a-likes

Some OP's seem to have an uncanny resemblance to someone else.

Oo-Aah once saw himself robbing a building society in a part of the country he had never visited. In fact Oo-Aah has so many 'look-a-likes' that he needs his own bit - which will be done soon....

Mr Chairman and................... John Cleese. Uncanny!!

The Chief Executive, JC, and..........Hugh Hefner. Extraordinary!!!

More OP 'Look-a-likes' will follow and some will shock you!!!

Old Pretenders Tour 2008 - Swindon

As Four Dinners gently snores.......



Video courtesy of the extraordinary Captain Basil.....

Bazza's Bits

Bazza The Lime Pickle Man aka Blocker has, for many years, designed the tour crests for the Old Pretenders.

Here he is playing football...good grief! a pic of an OP in action....


This was the Blankenburg (Belgium) Tour of '99

We actually prefered this of Tarquin The Tortoise impersonating the famous statue of the pissing little boy but it was decided it may offend the Belgians. Considering we almost caused a diplomatic incident I doubt the offence, if any, would have made a ripple...

The only time the OP's took to the Skies for a Channel Islands Tour...

Absolutely disgraceful that this wasn't the final crest for the Norfolk Tour....

A diplomatic incident did occure on The Oxford Tour when the late and much lamented OP supporter Arthur 'Bob The Coach' Barton took the piss out of some Japanese as we punted down the river....

Gracie Fields (actress), Lisa Stansfield (singer), Cyril Smith (politician) and...er....um...Gloria Estefan....

Famous people from Rochdale for The Rochdale Tour. Gloria Estefan might have been there. Well?? She might!!!

One of three Swansea tours. The leek is somehow apt when the OP's defence is considered...

The shirts should have been purple but turned up this odd shade of lilac. 18 hairy arsed piss heads in lilac shirts. An American woman cornered us in a local pub and asked the immortal question..."Heeey! Are you the gay bell ringers of Cambridge?"

There really was no answer to that...

In Portsmouth we were mistaken for a group of EasyJet employees - Orange being EasyJets livery. We were also mistaken somewhat bizarrely for a team of international kite flyers.

We may one day be mistaken for a football team....

This is merely a sample of Bazza's bits.

It is quite remarkable how many people have actually seen Bazza's bits when you come to think about it......

On behalf of The OP's thank you Bazza, and may your studs forever slice through the shinpads of the opposition...

Swindon Tour 2008

As I loaded the pics I realised there isn't one pic of The OP's playing football on this tour. No change there then......

Swindon may well have recovered. I certainly hope so but whether the hotel did is another story.

Four Dinners all but caused a divorce after borrowing a young ladies stiletto heals to play 'Penny Up The Arse' just prior to being caught outside the hotel by said young ladies husband with her tongue down his throat.

Needless to say it was not his fault and he only had his hand on her breasts in an attempt to push her away......

Babyface makes a conquest in a local pub...I don't recall him being fined the statutory club fine of 20p for this which, considering Four Dinners was heavily fined that amount is grossly unfair...

A very good singer declined to sing an ode to The OP's. Can't understand why. It could have been her greatest hit....

JC was amazed at the size of the bog at a local Indian Restaurant. The thought occured we could have had 'The Most Ever OP's in The Toilet' record until somebody pointed out the 'gay' overtones of such an attempt....

Wiggy meantime enjoyed the unexpected luxury...

Stormin', our Scottish International - and yes I know that seems a contradiction in terms but at least he's not a goalkeeper - was the only tourist in shorts. I'm not entirely sure what should be read into that....

Speaking of 'gay' overtones....this was a completely innocent 'Most Ever OP's in a Jacussi' moment. The bubbles were very nice by the way....

Clockwise from the top... Mr Chairman, Four Dinners, Tootall, Delilah, Wiggy, JC, Judas, Mark Formerly Known as Fatboy, Mooro, Babyface, Minxie and Pookie whilst in the middle top to bottom, Stormin', Captain Basil and Bazza The Lime Pickle Man...

Stormin' and Mooro lead the tour by example...

Babyface and Chief Executive, JC, follow suit...

Captain Pugwash, Judas, Sally Fuddy Duddy and Taju discuss tactics for the next game....oh allright...no they don't...they just join in getting pissed...

Captain Basil is such an arse....

Tour Captain Pookie in his 'hat of office'

I really must post some pics of The OP's playing football just to prove we do for any uninitiated visitors.......

2008 Dinner & Dance

The annual Old Pretender Dinner and Dance is not a dinner nor a dance.


OP's past and present meet up to drink excessive amounts of beer and eat curry.

Although dancing is frowned upon it isn't entirely banned - unlike Sambuca which had to be banished on the grounds of safety after we set a restaurant on fire.....


Above :The OP's tuck into a sizeable repast whilst TooTall to the right tucks into a sizeable
curried canary......
Below : Minxie seems to making the point that his glass is entirely empty whilst CJ and Scouses are half full....

Above : Ginger Spice, Judas and Bazza the Lime Pickle Man seem to be finding somebodys hand actions amusing....which may be a worry...

Below : Scouse, JD and CJ babble into their beer....

Above : Mr Chairman impersonates Bugs Bunny for no fathomable reason whilst, Below : Jesus and Bazza enjoy a nice healthy cigarette....

The evening concludes with the traditional 'Penny Up The Arse' competition where a pound coin is used as a penny would be quite lost.....

JC uses his penguin shuffle but Bazza can't find the hole....

Mark Formerly Known as Fatboy totters forth.... whilst a bizarrely booted Mooro makes his way to the pint pot receptacle...

Other performers on the night included Wiggy, Darren, BabyFace, Tootall, JD and others.

I believe an excellent night was had by all but, due to alcoholic beverages I have no idea who won 'Penny Up The Arse'......

In The Beginning....

.....God made Heaven and Earth.

John 'JC' Clark on the other hand, devised The Old Pretenders Football Club.

An extraordinary 'once more into the breach' team talk was somewhat diminished by a "Could someone help me down chaps?"

A fine example of our leader......

As the days become weeks and they become months this blog will trace the history of The Old Pretenders FC both distant and recent.

We did have a website but AOHell fucked that up for us so now we have a blog.

As time goes by you will learn of the adventures of such illustrious OP's as Mr Chairman, Bazza The Lime Pickle Man, Oo-Aah, Wiggy, Mark Formerly Known as Fatboy, Scouse and Scouse Deux, Delhi Belly, Too Tall, Baby Face, Crap Dave, The Fuddy Duddy Brothers, Jesus, Psycho and many many many more.......

Hope you enjoy the OP's blog and, in the words of The X-Files.....

'We want to believe'

Laters 'n let's be careful out there.....